I was in a relationship that ended abruptly because he cheated on me. We didn’t have kids, so I moved in with my parents until I was able to get back on my feet and finally moved out. Because I couldn’t afford a place on my own, I asked several friends to share a room, including a close friend who was there for me throughout my separation.
At the time, she said no. Then she found another job, made more money, and seven months later texted me asking if I was still looking for a roommate. I said yes. She has a 9-year-old daughter, who I was cool with because it would just be us girls. We went looking for an apartment, finally chose a place and signed a one-year lease.
My friend told me she started “talking” to her ex – her daughter’s father – but I didn’t know it was a full-fledged relationship when I moved in. He’s been here since day one and spends the night. They have small family dinners and get-togethers at the apartment.
I told him a month later that I had noticed he often stayed at his house – and that if this continued I was going to move because that’s not what I signed up for. She apologized and said she would talk to him. But it’s been eight months now, and he’s still here every day. There are days when I leave the apartment and go to my mom’s or my boyfriend’s because he’s there, while I’m stuck paying half the rent. Should I hold on for the rest of the lease, talk to him again and make him pay part of my rent, or just move?
— Above the big time
The moment he insisted the boyfriend pay part of the rent was seven months ago when it became apparent he was part of a package. Not only must he pay, but he must do so in arrears. If you cannot move without penalty, you will have to wait until the end of your lease. Sorry.
My fiancé and I have been together for three years. He has a large family and one of his cousins is getting married next year. We recently received a “save the date” card addressed only to him, despite having been living together for over two years. Does that mean I won’t be invited to the wedding?
My fiancé and I don’t know what to think, or if we should ask the couple. They are not close and one of the bridesmaids has a deep dislike for my fiancé and me. Could you give your expert opinion?
— Not invited to the East
Because your fiancé received the invitation with no specific reference to you or “and invited”, you can assume you weren’t included. This may have been an oversight on the part of whoever is organizing the event. Since you and your fiancé have been together for three years, HE should contact his parent and ask if this was an oversight. Base your acceptance or refusal to participate on this information.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.